I get all my music news from my Dad.
Jigga: no stranger to the dinosaurs.
My Dad sent me an email the other day to tell me that his favorite rap artist from when he was enrolled in College just leaked his new album. My father’s favorite hip-hop artist is the Empire State Building of Rap, Jay-Z. Did you know that Jay-Z is 7 years older than my father? It’s true. Did you know my dad’s 62? Jay-Z is pushing 70, ladies and gentlemen. Pretty soon, Social Security is gonna come and lay down the law, all like “yo, dawg, you can’t keep pulling 8 figs a year and still collect SS. Brothers are dyin out in the street without getting hooked up with this shit.” Then he’ll spit hot fire about it over his Poligrip adhesive ointment.
No, I’m just kidding, my Dad doesn’t like Jay-Z. I don’t really love him either. But my Dad hates popular music, bros. This is me rebelling against him. Eat it, Pops! He swears that he only went to one concert and it was Bob Dylan, but that’s just him trying to be all holier than though. I only went into an alley once, and Bob Dylan was rummaging through the trash. Take that, Dad!
And Jay-Z isn’t actually 69 years old. We have no idea how old he is. Scientists think we’re just going to have to wait til he dies of natural causes (denture cream poisoning) and then cut him open and count the rings. Those scientists and their science!
Anyway, Jigga’s got this new album coming out. Maybe you heard about it. The retirement homes are all abuzz with the news. Those decrepit hipsters (decripsters, all rights reserved 2009 The Animal Show) all booted up their Netbooks and snatched that shit off of The Pirate Bay real quick-like. And I was reading my favorite retirement blog, Prunes and Other Old People Things, and Saul, the blogger over there, recommended this album (because he’s old — get it???). Apparently it’s worth a damn. So far, I’m only agreeing about one song, but I really like it.
BP3 definitely has some weak tracks, but “Empire” is outtasite. So good.