Date Night

"Best movie since Drumline"- DFJacobs, The Animal Show

In honor of the upcoming “Date Night” starring Steve Carrell, Tina Fey, Mark Wahlberg and Common that hits theaters everywhere on April 9th, I thought I’d write an article about everyone’s most dreaded bonanza of uncomfortable interactions (No, unfortunately 20th Century Fox is not currently paying me for this unabashed pandering, but clearly I’m for sale). So here are a few tracks covering all aspects of the ulcer inducing evening, from the kicks to the entertainment to the encore (in your dreams).

While you may not have reached for a pair of Pumas since 5th grade, according to five-man Canadian hip-hop outfit The Lytics, they’re back and fresher than ever. According to the hot fire spit by either Andrew “A-nice” Sannie, Mungala “Munga” Londe or Anthony “Ashy” Sannie (if anyone familiar with these cool cats could tell me which I’d be damn grateful), “I like my shoes athletic/cause I’m so kinetic” but also when girls ask “how the hell do I stay so cool? What’s my secret?” he confesses, “It’s my shoes, it’s my shoes.” Beneath the clever rhymes is a club ready beat that may or may not have been made on GarageBand. While “Checkin’ On My Pumas” is not overwhelmingly profound or insightful, it is a party starter that will get your heart racing even before you lay eyes on your date.

Now that we’re all sporting our fly Pumas, let’s move on to the entertainment. The concept single “24 Frames (Movie Night),” from T.Shirt’s new Tan Face Children EP, features lyrics composed entirely of strung together movie titles. Behind the 120 titles is a synthesizer and snare beat that the discerning listeners among us will recognize as “Polite Dance Song” from the 7th best record of 2009, The Bird and the Bee’s Ray Guns Are Not Only Just Future. Beyond it’s awe-inspiring creativity, the track will also produce head-nodding and foot-tapping aplenty. Though T.Shirt insists that the lyrics actually tell his life story, I think he should just be content to call it a concept track in the same vein as  Jay Stay Paid favorite “Reality T.V. (feat. Black Thought).”

On the off chance that your date actually asks, “can I have an encore?” and is looking to “cook it raw with the Brooklyn boys,” you should have this mashup at the ready. Not only does it feature the Hova hit “Encore,” but it also includes Edward’s old wake-up favorite (don’t ask why I know this) “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You (The Twelves Remix).” The catchy “Not Gonna Encore” is a fantastic combination of Jigga in all his Black Album glory, and the dance inducing Black Kids anthem. And even if your evening becomes the disaster you feared it would, at least there’s “Date Night,” which again will obliterate theaters everywhere April 9th.

Checkin’ On My Pumas – The Lytics (YSI)

24 Frames (Movie Night) – T.Shirt (YSI)

Not Gonna Encore (Ha! Yes Mashup) – Jay-Z vs. Black Kids (YSI)