The Animal Show » Lil Wayne

Every Bro Has a Story

dfjacobs — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:00:47 +0000

As I busted out some of the best moves ever seen on this side of the Mason Dixon line, the sweat poured down the pleasantly plump gentleman on my right. To be fair, I was similarly perspiring, amidst a sea of what can only be described as Bro Montana and his Navabro brethren. The location: Terminal 5 for Brobible.com’s Revelation Summer Kick-Off. While I am neither a reader of the site, nor a fan of notoriously brolific events, the brommunity created a lineup worth weathering the Charles Broakleys and Bronald Reagans (by the way, I’m two “bros” away from tying a non brobible.com and DMB fan site record for most bro references in a single article). The pinney clad crew managed to gather Chiddy Bang, RJD2, Pretty Lights and almost every club level lacrosse player in the country, certainly no small feat.

To start the night, the sample heavy duo from Philly brought the thunder. Working within the constraints of a thirty-minute set, Chiddy and Xaphoon played crowd pleasers “Truth,” “The Opposite of Adults,” “Never” and “All Things Go.” While they killed each aforementioned Swelly Express track, the highlight of their performance was indubitably Chiddy’s freestyle. After taking suggestions from the highly inebriated audience, Chiddy rattled off a startlingly sharp freestyle atop a classically tight Xaphoon beat. My only complaint of the set was absence of “Hey London.” Although I understand that we were on the other side of the Atlantic, the Air Swell track transcends its geographic ties.

Next up were the equally impressive beats of Rjd2. The temperate Ramble John Krohn sauntered on stage, said, “Hi, my name is RJ,” and proceeded to unleash his famed instrumentals. While I’m not usually partial to strictly instrumental performances, Rjd2’s beats and accompanying visuals allowed for a surprisingly impressive set. For those of you unfamiliar with Rjd2, check out the track at the bottom, something tells me your affinity for all things Don Draper and Sterling Cooper is about to be tickled.

Headlining the evening was Pretty Lights. While I had enjoyed their remixes and mashes (that are free via their website), I was unsure about how they’d translate into a live setting. Little did I know that producer Derek Vincent Smith, accompanied by drummer Cory Eberhard, would be able to provoke unbridled enthusiasm from the jammed packed crowd. Their remixes, samples and mashes continue to amaze me, and the concurrent light show (hence their name) only intensified their performance. The duo rocked the crowd for a venerable two hours and ended with one of the most amazing mashes the world has ever heard. While its become common place for artists to end New York shows with their rendition of “Empire State of Mind” (see LCD Soundsystem), Smith threw both “Juicy” and “Hello Brooklyn” atop Jigga’s Marcy Project anthem. I wish I could reencounter the unforgettable mash and share its magic with you, but for now I’ll have to leave you with the Tuckahoe mash of Pretty Light’s favorite “The Time Has Come” and Weezy’s “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy.”

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Hey London – Chiddy Bang (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

A Beautiful Mine – Rjd2 (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Stuntin’ Pretty – Tuckahoe (YSI)

Welcome to the New Site!

Mash Update

dfjacobs — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:00:07 +0000

Spring Breakin' like a champ

With spring break in the air, I needed some television that could match my enthusiasm for warm weather and poor decision-making. As my now permanently Cheetos stained fingers explored the current bill of fare, I found my way to the holy grail of spring break programming, the ‘Fist Pumpin’ Top 20 w/ Jersey Shore’. Watching the Jersey Shore to celebrate spring break is like listening to Justin Bieber to commemorate NAMBLA day. And for me, seeing tequila drenched, scantily clad women means only one thing, of course, it’s mashup time.

Let’s start with The Hood Internet, who has been terrifyingly hit or miss of late, but have returned to form and mixed some classic Big L rhymes with Bibio. Big L, in his coolest collaboration since this sweet tee, sounds at home atop Bibio’s experimental electronica. By the way, anyone feeling their fancies tickled by Bibio’s stellar synth sound should check out his 2009 release Ambivalence Avenue, a great album that did not receive its proper dues.

Next is The White Panda who threw together mashup darling “Lean Like A Cholo” with Two Door Cinema Club. The White Panda put the chic rock sound of Two Door Cinema Club behind everyone’s favorite ode to Mexican gangsters. The most common side effect of this combination is ear euphoria, and in rare cases, bowel incontinence.

Moving right along we have T.H.I.’s “How Purple Can You Go.” This mash removed the disgusting futuristic garbage from Luda’s “How Low” and instead backed it up with Joker & Ginz’s “Purple City.” This track finally does Mr. Bridges’s flow justice with a first-rate beat.

Lastly I leave you with the Show’s favorite masher, E-603. Even if Sir E can’t accept my friend request, his skillz that killz have been described by commentators (me) as “Glenn Beck crazy”. He posted this track and a subsequent message on facebook describing how he had the song stuck in his head, so he naturally made an exceptionally cool remix to blow our minds. As is par for the king of the 603, he tore this track up. That’s all I’ve got for now, so turn up all these jams and enjoy spring break Snooki style, even if you’re stuck on your couch.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Dwrcan ‘Em Up (Big L x Bibio) – The Hood Internet (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

A Cholo You Know – The White Panda (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

How Purple Can You Go – The Hood Internet (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Money To Blow (feat. Drake and Lil Wayne) (E-603 Remix) – Birdman (YSI)

We Should All Be So Lucky to Find Something in This World That Makes Us This Catchy

Edward — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:01:47 +0000

You son of a bitch.

It’s been a long, hard fight, but I’m giving up. You win this time, Owl City. Your shittastic, Postal Service-ripoff top-10 single “Fireflies” has bored a hole through my skull and penetrated the deepest recesses of my cranium. The meaningless lyrics of the song will continue to worm their way through the soft gray mass there until I’m so numb to overpopularity that I’ll round up a group of friends to record a webcam tribute video to “I’m On A Boat” and put in on youtube under the username ***<3TEAMJACOB!OREDWARD!ICAN’TMAKEUPMYMIND,YA’LL!<3***

I’ve read enough Sophocles wikiquotes to know that it’s my sad fate to kick against the pricks for the remainder of my drudge-working mortal existence. Well, this time I’ve lost. Pricks: 1; Edward: 0. But I’m not raking out my eardrums yet.

Here’s the thing: I can’t make “Fireflies” cease to be catchy. It’s like telling NBC’s hit sitcom F-R-I-E-N-D-S (now in syndication on TBSveryfunny) to stop being so HILARIOUS. “Joey ordered two pizzas?? For himself??? I can hardly eat a pizza by myself!!! Even if my cats help!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUNNY.” In a lot of ways the show and song are very similar: they’re like the Olsen twins, especially because one noticed that her career was over and died (RIP MKO). I loved the Postal Service and Friends with equal passion in 2003, but then 2004 rolled around we were all like “Go Sox!” or whatever. But here’s the harsh light of day: we can’t all watch Joey for the rest of our prick-kicking lives. The seasons go round and round, and we wonder why that’s the only Joni Mitchell song our friends know.

So, this is what is: we’ll indulge for a little. Then we’ll pretend like this song never happened. I’ve provided a few transition songs, including my favorite mashup of fall 2009, “Cult Logic Forever,” and my favorite remix of the final days of August from this past summer. Enjoy. But consider yourselves warned. You’re entering into highly contagious musical territory.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Fireflies – Owl City (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Cult Logic Forever (Drake feat. Kanye West & Lil Wayne vs. Miike Snow) – The Hood Internet (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Waking Up In Vegas (Calvin Harris Extended Remix) – Katy Perry (YSI)

No related posts.

My Day: A Friday in Mashups

Edward — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:39:47 +0000

This is how it is

It’s a Friday, ya’ll. I know because I have a page-a-day calendar, and when I peeled off the page from yesterday (which was a Thursday page, fyi), it revealed a page which said “Friday,” replete with an adorable picture of a kitten in a fireman costume. This is how I know the things I know. Citation: Adorable Kittens Page-a-day 2009, page 310. Harper Collins, Detroit. 2008 ISBN: 8173372300-1. That is the proper Chicago format for citing page-a-day calendars. Memorize it; it’ll come in useful later.

It being a Friday and all, you need some mashups. You need them so bad. And I’ve got some sick new ones, from a few mashup artists you almost certainly haven’t heard of yet.

The first comes from Xaphoon Jones, who’s a Philly artist responsible for a seriously nasty mixtape. You may have heard of him before, because he produces for Chiddy Bang, whose “Kids” was a debut single for the ages. Believe it or not, my proper introduction to him came from the New York Times write-up of the Stereogum-affiliated CMJ, where he got a pretty huge shout-out. His Radiohead/”Touch the Sky” pairing is surprisingly awesome.

Next is an artist I’m very proud to have the internet debut of: my good friend Nate Fritts, who mixes, chops, and screws under the slip-pad name Carpe-DMC. Nate’s a huge Weezy fan, and one day I tried to play him the Animal Show’s favorite summer mash, “Comfortable Up in Here.” His response was, “nah, man, you’ve got to hear this!” and then he put on a Ratatat-Wayne mashup he’d made. I’m going to save that one for another day to keep you salivating; for today, rock out to his “Move, Barry,” which manages to make “Barry Bonds,” arguably the weakest song off of Graduation, a serious gem, tying it to LEN’s timeless classic, “Steal My Sunshine.” Keep your eyes here for more from Carpe-DMC…

The final is a perfect outro, crafted by another newbie, DJ Moondance, whose body of work, frankly, is entirely non-noteworthy. Seriously. His first album was a Jay-Z/DMB effort. But this shows serious promise, with a nice Blink-182 sample behind Birdman/Lil Wayne. We’ll be keeping our eyes peeled to his mashes in the future.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Testify (Kanye West vs Lupe Fiasco vs Radiohead) – Xaphoon Jones (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Move Barry (Kanye West vs Ludacris vs LEN) – Carpe-DMC (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Stuntin 182 (Blink-182 vs Lil Wayne vs Train vs Birdman) – DJ Moondance (YSI)

Good Friday

A Little Love For Another MJ

dfjacobs — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:21:31 +0000

Hey, Marvin. What's going on?

My blogging career began rather abruptly, and I realize I never got a chance to tell you about myself. Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am David. I enjoy music by artists whose names begin with P (Paul Simon, Phoenix, Passion Pit, Prince, Pharoahe Monch, Phish, Public Enemy, The Police, etc…) as well as music by artists whose first letter is any of the other 25 letters. I’ll drop some more fun facts as we continue to get to know each other, but I think we’re both ready for some music.

The recent E-603 release (“If You Wanna” 3:57 to the end was so beautiful I’m continually moved to tears) has inspired me to seek out some more mashups. And because MJ has been getting so much love as of late, I felt I should give another M artist some respect. So here are some fantastic Marvin Gaye mashups. The first came out a while ago, but I realized that The Show never really gave it proper due, so I could not deprive all you loyal readers who have yet to stumble upon this jam. Produced by Shuko & The Gunna, and presented by Mick Boogie, comes the masterpiece Brooklyn Soul. An entire cd of “Marvin Jaye” gems. The juxtaposition of Marvin’s soul and Hova’s rhymes are beyond epic. Take “Hello Brooklyn.” The original has an uninspired beat behind some striking verses by “the greatest rapper alive” (he has actually trademarked that, much to Mos Def’s chagrin). Brooklyn Soul puts the timeless Sexual Healing behind Lil’ Wayne and Jigga, making it unforgettable. Though not on Brooklyn Soul, “Girls Let’s Get It On” supplements Jizza’s previously questionable beats with classic Marvin baby-making-funk.

For the final Marvin Mashup we move to one of my favorite DJs: B. Cause. And I don’t think he’s talented, I think he’s beyond it (Weezy shoutout, ya’ll!). His skills are so impressive that he was almost able to make 2008’s worst ear-bruiser, “Love Lockdown,” listenable. He put a crazy-cool disco beat that almost made me forget the auto-tune. In the Marvin vein, he takes Outkast’s “So Fresh So Clean,” which, unlike “Hello Brooklyn,” needed no changes whatsoever, and still manages to improve it. B. Cause also uses “Let’s Get It On,” to make “So Fresh So Clean” so sensual that you will immediately morph into a 70’s swinger. And for all readers looking for more DJ B. Cause check out “Blame It/What’s Golden.” I can’t talk about it “B. Cause” it’s not Marvin, but trust me, like all other B. Cause tracks, it’s hot.

It’s taking me great personal restraint to do so, but I am going to limit myself to Marvin Gaye mashups, but fear not, an article simply about great mashups I have recently found is in the works. For now, enjoy these, and you can get the rest of Brooklyn Soul at http://www.jayandmarvin.com/.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Hello Brooklyn (ft. Li’l Wayne) – Jay-Z and Marvin Gaye (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Girls Let’s Get It On – Marvin Jaye (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

So Fresh So Clean (B.Cause Let’s Get it On Reprise) – OutKast (YSI)

Don't Get Too Comfortable

icebergxc — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 00:20:21 +0000

This will make more sense in a minute

I have no air conditioning. This is kind of a drag, because the best I can do is move outside-temperature air around me with fans and drink cold adult beverages all day. Not so bad, right?

I live in Houston. The Houston that’s in TEXAS.

So it’s kind of hot here, but I’ve been cooling off with this tight mashup of Royksopp and everyone’s favorite Lil’ guy (Wayne). Everyone please thank The Hood Internet for another sweet, sweet track. This one’s like riding in a pink Cadillac convertible through a 75˚ land of rainbow waterfalls and dry ice. Seriously, this bleepy beat underscores Wayne with seamless aptitude and should be awarded a permanent spot on that CD you burn at the beginning of summer and forget to take out until September.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Comfortable Up Here (Lil’ Wayne vs. Royksopp) — The Hood Internet (mediafire)

Weezy Weezy Weezer

icebergxc — Fri, 08 May 2009 18:37:21 +0000

This picture gives me the willies.

….And suddenly I show up out of nowhere after abandoning my friends and our reader(s[?])! Let’s skip the awkwardness and get right back to the music.

It’s a well known fact that everyone worth talking to loves the shit out of Weezer. Also, I’m pretty sure that Lil’ Wayne got a few plays in the last 6 months or so. Lucky for everyone everywhere, Molestar has brought the two together through the power of mashups!

Although I’m not a huge fan of Weezy, let’s hope that you are, because it’ll probably make you like this album more. I haven’t actually made it all the way through it yet, but it seems like a great idea (in point of fact, anything to do with Weezer is a great idea), and I’m counting on Edward being pleased enough that I’m contributing again to let it slide if it’s a dud. BONUS: I recently acquired another Weezer mashup, but it’s pretty terrible, so I’m not posting it here. You’re welcome!

Weezyer (full album) (.zip)

If that wasn’t persuasive enough, try this song on for size:

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Don’t Let Go of that Lollipop (Weezyer) – Molestar (YSI)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Mrs. Officer Turned and Left Me Here (Weezyer) – Molestar (YSI)

You Know I'm No Good

Edward — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:32:57 +0000

Set 'em loose on me. I know you wanna.

It’s true — I’ve sunk to a new low. A whole week without fresh new jams comin’ atcha from Showtown. How have you survived? More importantly, why have you survived? Was life worth living without the Show? No, of course not. But I appreciate you muddling.

I wish I had some sort of great excuse for my ignoring you, but I don’t. Except this one: I’m a full-time student, and this job doesn’t pay. At all. Not one shiny penny comes to me. I do it out of the goodness of my own heart. I know, I know — save the thanks for later. Leave the idolizing remarks in the comments section. Now’s not the time. What it is time for, however, are some fresh Spring tunes, guaranteed to make your booty shake and the house quake. Live, from Brunswick Maine, It’s Animal Show time.

The first song I’m going to share with you is the single off Show favorites (and commentors) Super Mash Bros.’ new album, tentatively titled All About the Scrillions, which will be rattling your fillings in early June. The song’s called “Kisses & Thugs,” and it’s making me hungry for more.

Next, I’m going to drop a duo of ground-stomping goodies which I’ve been saving forever: a sweet remix of Santigold’s brilliant “Unstoppable,” featuring Li’l Wayne and Drake. Nuff said. And then there’s a Daft Punk vs. Beastie Boys mash, “Intergalactic Human,” courtesy of DJ Earworm. Nothing new, but a gem nonetheless. So, sorry for the slow April, but we’re still here and we still know how to get down.

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Kisses & Thugs – Super Mash Bros. (megaupload)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Unstoppable (Remix feat. Lil Wayne & Drake) – Santigold (megaupload)

Author insert a music with WS Audio Player
(Download) this music.

Intergalactic Human (Daft Punk vs. Beastie Boys) – DJ Earworm (megaupload)

If you haven’t already, buy Santigold’s album before she changes her name again.

The Grammy Awards (an overly long guide by Marquis Meowers)

marquismeowmersiv — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:37:17 +0000

Fuck.

Well, here were are again. Another year, another black president, another round of Grammy Awards… the sad cycle of life continues. The 51st annual (really semi-annual, go look at the Wikipedia page) were filled with really shitty awards (surprise surprise) and some truly awesome performances. Below the jump is my recap and commentary on this year’s Grammy Awards… but be forewarned. The path is filled with overly pretentious opinions, stupid jokes, spelling errors, grammar errors, and hobgoblins of the worst variety.

Please note, there are NO MP3’s below the jump. Videos only! With that said…

Let’s start with a little recap:

When I first read the nominations, I was filled with quite a bit of joy. While Fucked Up had (unfortunately) not been recognized for The Chemistry of Common Life, a number of great artists were recognized for their 2008 creations. M.I.A’s Paper Planes was up for “Best Song That Was Overplayed and Then Became The Official Anthem of Sorority Sisters Trying To Be ‘independent’ Or Something”. Uffie wannabe ‘Duffy’ was nominated 3 times for something or other, and The Academy seemed to love that ‘wacky’ Sgt. Pepper cover group Coldplay:

Hey Coldplay, Paul McCartney called. He told me to tell you to stop making references to him whenever you receive awards.

Additionally, several really good artists were nominated for various awards, like Lupe Fiasco (The Cool, Best Rap Album), Estelle and Kanye (American Boy, best duo rap performance, Song of the Year), Béla Fleck & The Flecktones (Jingle All The Way, Best Pop Instrumental Album), Beck (That new album that everyone keeps telling me to listen to but I haven’t yet sorry Carl, Best Alternative Rock Album), and Radiohead (OMG Thom Yorke, Best Alternative Rock Album)

Finally, there were a few independent artists who were given niche nominations just so The Academy can say “look, we’re hip too” like No Age (Nouns, Best Type Face or something), Justice/MGMT (Eletric Feel (Justice Remix), There Is A Best Remix Category???), and essentially Kimya Dawson (Juno Soundtrack, Best album that made me HATE The Moldy Peaches).

To say the least, I liked the outlook of this years awards. Maybe the deserving will be rewarded this year…

So, Marquis, how were the results???

Frankly… pretty fucking poor. As predicted, the results heavily favored sales and ‘ass kissery’ over talent or artistic integrity. For instance, Hot Chip lost “Best Dance Track” (’track’ was the 420th word of this post… lol) to Daft Punk, Lil Wayne beat out Lupe for “Best Rap Album”, and Metallica won “Best Metal Performance”, despite the fact that Dragonforce was nominated.

The biggest winners of the night were probably Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, who won the “major awards” despite the fact that their album had lukewarm reception from all the critics who actually critique music rather than giving an album a write-up and slapping an ‘x out of 5′ score to it (I’m looking at you Allmusic, Rolling Stone, Blender, etc.). I’ve only heard a few songs from the album, all of which are forgettable. I thought its overall merit was based on the fact that Plant had finally made something post-Zep that wasn’t horrendous, which is an assumption I garnered from all the positive reviews focused mostly on that aspect of the album, (in addition to Krauss’s voice [which is, admittedly, beautiful]). (EDITOR’S NOTE: I found Raising Sand pretty solid, though definitely not “album-of-the-year-good.” Still, definitely worth a spin. — Edw.)

Even the cool awards went to the profitable rather than the creative, with No Age losing “Best Packaging” to Metallica (are you fucking kidding me?) and best “non-Classical Producer” going to Rick Rubin (album listed: Red Album by Weezer, Death Magnetic by Metallica, and Seeing Things by Jakob Dylan [lol]) instead of Will.i.Am (American Boy, Pick It Up amongst other great pop songs) or Danger Mouse (Modern Guilt by Beck [sorry Carl], The Odd Couple by Gnarls, and Attack and Release by The Black Keys. Essentially, a really well known guy who produced a bunch of super mediocre albums (except for The Red Album, but I didn’t see Rivers Cuomo getting an award so…) beat out several people who produced at least one really good album/song. Additionally, Rick Rubin sits at a console adjusting levels, while both Danger Mouse and Will.i.Am ACTUALLY produce (lay down backing beats) songs. You decide who actually deserves an award…

But you knew that was going to happen, dumbass. Why did you bother watching?

Not gonna lie, I was excited about the performances. And, boy, did they deliver. I was a tad worried after U2 (they’re still a group?) and that weird ensemble of Al Greene, Boyz 2 Men, Keith Urban, and JT both gave pretty forgettable performances, but my faith in the power of an awards show was revitalized after Coldplay teamed up with Jay Z to give a spectacular duet before hitting the crowd with the all-too-catchy ‘Viva La Vida’. Kid Rock’s performance is worth watching just for the humorous sampling of Sweet Home Alabama in All Summer Long, and Jenifer Hudson delivered her single “You Pulled Me Through” with force… she has a seriously beautiful voice:

However, shit never takes off unless Kanye is involved, and the live Grammy performances are no exception. Though the mixing might have been off for Estelle and Kanye’s duet on American Boy, both Kanye’s energy and Estelle’s vocal talents were totally on. Not to forget ‘Kanye West’s Multi-directional-light-reflecting Coat of Dreams”:

(a higher quality video can be found here)

Seriously, could it get any better?

Yes.

Yes, it most definitely can. The introduction of the “Rap Pack” had me obsessed with this performance of ‘Swagga Like Us’ before the music even began. But the group managed to one-up their own introduction by appearance alone. Not only was M.I.A deep in the throws of full-on pregnancy, but T.I, Jay-Z, Kanye West, and lil’ fucking Wayne were all wearing tuxedos and amazing sunglasses. Lil’ Wanye’s name is high-lighted because his tux was custom tailored to have baggy slacks. AWESOME. I can’t use words to describe how high energy the performance was, so I’ll just roll the video:

(a much much higher quality rip can be found here)

I really hope that this group keeps making music together. In addition to having a nickname already picked out for them, they make some amazing music. Can you really go wrong with the 4 biggest names in rap? Well, probably yes, but they’ve easily got at least one GREAT album that would appeal to both the “indie Pitchfork” and “frat house Rolling Stone” crowds. KANYE IF YOU ARE READING THIS MAKE IT HAPPEN.

I guess Radiohead performed (OMG Thom Yorke):

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5175317999285072447&hl=en]

Lastly (and I am skipping quite a few performances here, because most of them were boring except for Dave Grohl ROCKING THE FUCK OUT with Paul McCartney) I found Weezy’s solo performance to be mentionable. I thought the arrangement was well planned, though the amount of political commentary was a little over the top. Robin Thicke can still sing (holy crap…).

So, what was the best part of the night?

BLINK 182 REUNION

I’m not sure if I can explain just how happy this makes me. Granted, their new album will probably sound like a combination of +44 and Angels and Airwaves (re: horseshit) but that’s okay. That fact that there is a remote chance of Tom DeLonge singing about “M.I.L.F’s”, dog crap, and hand jobs again makes me SO HAPPY. Not to mention the fact that there is now a remote chance of my ultimate 8th grade fantasy coming true: a Blink 182 and Weezer tour (maybe Tenacious D will open). Seriously.

Any last words, Marquis?

No. Why did I do this instead of my homework. I hope you didn’t actually read all of that.

Lil Wayne Totally One-Ups Kanye

Edward — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:49:45 +0000

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Also, this guitar looks like Kenny Chesney would be attached to it. It's completely country. Couldn't you have picked a cooler guitar, Carter? Like maybe a SWORDITAR. That would be totally Weezy.Weezy the slayer -- WEEZY THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS. Oh man, that's awesome. You should title your next album that. As long as it's not a rock album. Because you're a rapper, dumbass, and noone would pay to hear you play guitar with your hand full of thumbs if you weren't already well-known. Asshole. But I'm gonna totally buy a sworditar and slay you with my tasty, steel-bladed rock, probably screaming something climactic and awesome like, "It's time for my solo now!" Which would be nice. And would teach you a thing or two about rockin', Wayne. Because I know rockin'...

Hey, remember Kanye? Remember that time he put out an album of auto-tune warbling? Well, Lil Wayne thinks he can follow suit and just march out of the nice niche he’s made himself and venture into the world of rock. Someone’s been playing too much Guitar Hero, and it’s not just those guys who lived down the hall from me last year. Seriously, though, I was willing to give Kanye a chance, and he delivered a grower of an album, so no complaints there. With Wayne, I’m not as optimistic.

First of all, I think the only reason Kanye succeeded is because he bared his soul. Cliche as it may sound, Kanye seriously showed an emotional range which was simultaneously shocking and accessible. It was a gamble, and it paid off. The other thing Kanye did right is he made his own sound. He took auto-tune to the next level, making it the focus of a whole album, and symbolic of the sort of the correction he sought in his life throughout 808s.

Weezy has no such noble aspirations. This is Weezy taking on Axl. Seriously, dude, not everyone with dreads can rock. Hell, Axl can’t even rock all that well.

Unfortunately, this song isn’t terrible. That would make this all too easy. It’s decent. That’s the most I’ll give it. I don’t think I’d listen to it if it weren’t Weezy, but he’s probably counting on that. And when he does release his Rock Opus, hereafter referred to as Weezy’s Democracy, I’m sure I’ll give it a listen. Maybe not two, but it’ll get a spin.

The Single:

Prom Queen -Lil Wayne

And how Weezy should sound:

Yes ft. Pharrell – Lil Wayne